Two - for - one

I love a good sale. (LOVE a good sale.)

But reality says that if I don't need it, it doesn't matter how deep the discount it. (Right, honey?)

Like the ad I saw last week -

2 for 1!!
Just what Dad wants for Father's Day!!

What were they selling? Recliners. You know, the oversized chairs that lay back and (depending on your budget and your Dad) vibrate, play music, cool your canned drinks and drive you to the airport.

Does Dad really want TWO recliners? How would that work? One for each foot? And does everyone really have the floor space for TWO recliners for Dad?

I thought that was really the all-time silliest idea I'd seen spring from the current economy (not including any government "recovery" plans, of course) until I saw this:


This is an honest to goodness sign on a road out of my town.

Aren't cemeteries in a "sure thing" market? Like gasoline or groceries? "The only two things in life that are certain are death and taxes"? Somehow the idea of a cemetery site sale is oddly disturbing to me. And hysterically funny, too. Sort of like having the giggles at a funeral.

It's a great sale, though ... (what do you think, honey?)

Random observations to round out the week

More hairdressers than not wear their pants at least 1 1/2" too long. Is that advice they get at beauty school?

If a tree falls in the marshland and snaps a power pole, does anyone hear the sound as all the lights go out in the surrounding neighborhood?

It takes a downgrade of at least 6% for a Hyundai Accent to maintain highway speed on momentum alone.

Cinnamon buns are not about the bread dough.

Neither are sandwiches.

Imagination means that I can come up with 8 different reasons why that spinach is stuck in your teeth. 56 if it's in your hair.

The size of a thumbdrive is in inverse proportions to how much trouble you're in when you LOSE it because it's so dang small.

Do you suppose that the woman who drove her car into a river because her coffee needed sweetener will start drinking it black? Or will there just be a new warning printed on the cup lids?

Do boy ladybugs worry about their masculinity?

If an octopus was arm wrestling a different opponent on each tentacle, how many matches do you suppose it would be likely to win?

And is it a coincidence that the local Curves is two doors down from the Baskin Robbins?