"Mr. Bean" in tights

I studied Shakespeare in school and still some of my favorite movies are Shakespearean in origin. Add Rowan Atkinson and this is FUNNY!

Small occasional inappropriateness warning, though...

Viagra and Vicodin (or ... Harbingers of Spring)

Ahh, spring. It's been randomly sunny, windy and raining here at home and I never quite know how carefully I should be dressing for an period longer than 10 minutes outside my front door. But that's just typical of spring here - although this one seems to be running cooler and longer than the average spring. It makes the weather reports and random statistics about the weather much more interesting - right up there with baseball stats.

"It's the first time since 1945 that a left handed hitter sat on the bench for the entire game without chewing gum on a Tuesday when it rained for the first five innings."

Apparently it's also the season for spammers to crawl out of winter hibernation and get to work like little radioactive bees hitting every spot they can. One of my accounts after a period of relative quiet, overnight got 115 messages filtered through to the spam folder. And the astonishing thing to me is - THEY WERE ALL SPAM. Not one innocently diverted message in the lot.

During my quick if conscious-driven perusal, I noticed that they were pretty equally weighted between Viagra and Vicodin taking up about 80% of the list.

Then came the daughter/son of Mr./Mrs. Johann/Meulich/Akibobo from Cote D'Ivoire/West Africa/New Guinea with a request for god-bless-you assistance to get funds out of the country, followed by offers to enlarge a body part I don't have for the pleasure of people I don't know. (Ick!)

One was marked (and this is roughly translated) "I've got stuff for you to buy! Whatever you think I can sell you!" I suppose that person deserves some credit for getting to the point.

So I've emptied the trash in the spam filter and I'm going out to my garden. Because that's really the type of dirt I prefer to be looking at this spring. And it's going to look real good today.

Provided it doesn't rain.

Ask a silly question

One of my monkeys came home from school today and the conversation went something like this:

Me: How was school today?

Monkey: Good.

Me: Did you do anything exciting?

Monkey: No, not really.

Me: Okay, well, remember to get your chores done right away and don't forget to make your lunch, k? (small reference to yesterday there - it's a habit.)

Monkey: I will.

(small pause while monkey wanders off and sits on the coffee table staring out the back window. I suspect a candy is being hidden from me.)

Monkey: By the way, when did the cherry tree fall down?

Me: What?

Monkey: The tree fell down.

Me: Where?

Monkey: In the front.

Me: What?

Monkey: The tree fell down.

Me: What? (There is simply no light dawning yet ...)

Monkey: The tree. It fell down.

Me: What?! (Ah, there it comes ...)

Monkey: It did! The cherry tree fell down.

Me: What?!?!?!?!!! (Slowly, though...)

Monkey: Go look! It fell down!

Me: What??!??!?!?!!!

Monkey: Mom! ...

Various voices from various parts of the house chime in at this point "What's going on?" "What's happening?" etc, etc.

Me: What!!??!??!!?

SG: What's going on?

Me: (gave up the witty banter and ran for the door, then the window, then another window, then outside. And to my utter surprise ...)

Cookies for the simple minded ...

or the rushed ... or the inept ...

Marriage tips from Johnny & Chachi

This guy's (Chachi's) teeth make me laugh so hard!!

A new neighbor

The last few times we've walked out our front door, it's been a pretty sure thing that someone will get freaked out.

Unfortunately, it usually seems to be me.

See, we have a new neighbor. She moved in so quietly I didn't even realize she was there. But when I left the house in a hurry one day, the sudden flurry of wings right beside my ear gave her away. A mourning dove had been sitting in a hanging planter that sits about 4 feet from our front door.

Nice, I thought. She'll move on.


Nope.

For a couple weeks now, I've forgotten she's there. And whenever we leave, the flurry of wings as she launched herself off the planter have startled us into the siding in one of those evasive reflex actions.

Then one day, there was no flurry. So I glanced over ...

and freaked out anyways. She just sat there, watching me. Not a twitch. Not a stir. Just two little dark eyes watching me. Somehow that was even freakier.


So today we finally figured it out. The kids were playing outside and apparently it finally got to be too much for her. She left the planter and we saw why she's been so still.


So it appears we'll have more neighbors soon. And until then, we're trying to remember not to startle the neighbor lady.

TMI in marketing

As you may or may not know, I have a fair bit of curl in my hair. I've spent decades fighting it and the other decades trying to learn how to live with it. Of course, this means that the quest for hair care is an ongoing one. And usually about the time I find a product I like, they stop making/selling it. Obviously I don't buy the high end brands that have been available since Eve first realized her roots needed some attention.

The other day I ran out of a personal favorite and asked SG to pick up some more. They didn't have it. They didn't even have a space on the shelf anymore. (I know, I've checked to confirm this.) So he brought home another brand.

Standing in the shower the next morning, I glanced over to see this slogan:

"I'm deliciously bent and your hair is, too."*

That's getting a little personal, don't you think?

*The dilemma now is that I like the conditioner. But if I buy it again, will the makers take that as a sign their marketing approach is working? Do I dare encourage that sort of behaviour? Or do I just put black tape boxes over the slogan so I don't feel so mildly violated every morning?