A nosy parker

Some of you might be shocked to find out that I'm a little nosy. Not usually with friends, mind you, (after all you tell me of your own volition, right?) but complete strangers are a different story. I won't just walk up and engage them in conversations with endless questions (at least not conversation with me) but in malls, in restaurants, on planes, or at the bank, beware that I may be listening in. No, I won't be crouched behind the potted plants. I just go with the principal that if your voice is loud enough to carry, I'm not being rude if I listen. Particularly if you're blocking the aisle at WalMart discussing the rash that just won't clear up and how it might be the result of your goldfish bowl.


ClipArt by www.surfdoggy.com

Sometimes I write it off as professional curiosity. After all, I can't write about my friends or they won't be my friends much longer. If I write about my family, they might actually read it! So most often I justify it as character research. Even old photos of other people's families conjure up villains and victims, bullies and belles, and the self-righteous widows that make great counterfoils to your favorite characters in writing.

Don't people make you curious? Today I was driving down the street and saw a fancy new pickup loaded with a drop-leaf table, two wooden chairs, a antique trunk, a dirtbike and a Pepsi machine. Doesn't that raise a question or two?

What about the business men that you suspect might be closet cowboys because their shoes are just a tad too pointy for current trends?

And you can't tell me you've never seen someone standing at a bank machine and wondered, "What thought process made her decide THAT was the outfit to wear today?"

It makes me a pretty lousy date, actually. SG and I went out for dinner one night and I missed two-thirds of his conversation because the guy behind me was explaining at the TOP of his lungs why he didn't think it was right to see fewer than three women at a time. I have never been so tempted in my life to follow someone to the restroom and as we checked our teeth for spinach, smile and say "Honey, RUN!"

So it's perhaps time to offer just a word of advice. Next time you're out in public, check behind the potted plants, keep an eye on that little mirror on the ATM and don't forget to be suspicious of the quiet woman at the table behind you. She's probably listening.