Out at the Old Ball Game

This week, we celebrated our anniversary by going to a baseball game with the young 'uns. A AAA baseball game actually. (Ahh, romance.) How else would you spend the afternoon when it's 90 degrees outside and there's not a shade tree in sight?

It was a great game and we were pretty well positioned. Not necessarily to catch all the nuances of the game but we were seated by some of the more colorful characters in the bleachers (metal, btw). If you know me well, you know I'm a shameless eavesdropper. As I told a class I was visiting this morning, "If you see me at the mall, lower your voice."

Right beside me was a guy that appeared to be a junior coach of some kind because he always had a comment about the style/form/skill of the various players. Some of them were really informative and some of them sounded like a guy version of cattiness.

"I don't let kids wear those pads unless it's a warm up."

"What a great throw to first! How'd he do that!?"

And right beside him was a young woman (well, not YOUNG young, just younger than me young) that had to agree with everything he said:

"Yeah, I haven't worn knee savers since I was, like, twelve."

"Yeah, what's with the crazy stance?"

But a few rows down from them was my personal favorite - a larger blond lady that knew every player's name but wasn't in the parent box. Every comment was screamed at a volume that may actually have been responsible for the infrequent breeze that blew past once in awhile:

"Remember the Cow - Cow - Count!"

"Make it HOT, Eric!"

"Whoo-hoo! That's the way! JUST FINISH THEM OFF NOW!"

"Put some PEPPER on it, baby!"

It was a great game.


(<-Notice the requisite ice-cream-cone profiled manager in the white pants...)








Oh, yeah, the home team won the game and, with it, the championship. I did notice that part, too.

Potty humor

(Be Warned!- This post contains potty humor. Actual potty humor involving toilets and bodily functions. So turn away now if you're offended by such things!

... LAST CHANCE to TURN AWAY!...)

Okay - you can't say you weren't warned ...

We were sitting at supper (or dinner, if that's the meal you eat in the evening in your neck of the woods, although if you read on you'll figure out we're not that couth) the other night and someone happened to mention that a person (apparently with nothing better to do) came up with an app that sends a Tweet every time his toilet flushes. Which begs the question - do we really need to know that? So somehow, the ways things often seem to at my house, the conversation turned to the sorts of songs or sayings a person might use in that situation (if a person were so inclined).

Here's a few (but only a few) that we came up with (and I'll point out that very few of them came from me):

I Like to Move It (Reel 2 Real, or will.i.am, depending on your age)

Poop Scoop Boogie (Tim Hawkins)

"I feel the earth move..." (Carole King)

"Right foot, lets stomp, left foot, lets stomp, SQUEEZE!" (the original line is "freeze" from Cha Cha Slide by Mr. C The Slide Man)

"How about a nice number 2?" (robot from a hair salon commercial)

"I'm a big kid now..." (from a Huggies commercial)

"... you put your right foot in
And you swish it all about" (adapted from the Hokey Pokey)


There are days I have no hope for my family.

...okay, I gotta stop there and go wash my hands...


*photos courtesy of benedeki and wax115 at www.sxu.com

A bevy of birds

My yard seems to be turning into some kind of wildlife sanctuary.

Last Tuesday, SG and I were sitting on the deck after sunset enjoying the peace (and the evening cool) when we heard something moving down at the bottom of the yard. (Our lot has a decided slope, so 'down the yard' is perfectly appropriate.) SG finally fetched a flashlight and there it was - a masked, furry face peering round the cedar from on top of our fence.

We've known raccoons were around. We saw footprints in the snow last December. We think that's what ate the class turtle several summers ago. We think they've been involved in several of the catfights in the neighborhood. So it was with some satisfaction I finally laid eyes on the critter that's had me peeking out dark windows at the strange noises late at night.

This morning, SG saw two raccoons in the yard. Apparently, having seen us, the raccoon decided we weren't very intimidating and invited a friend to come over. Great.

So later in the morning, when I saw something walking around by our patio, I wondered who else had dropped in. I've already mentioned the kamakaze Orioles and it definitely wasn't them. Pigeons, was my first thought. But that didn't seem right. Pigeons don't herd their baby birds around through my hedge.

It was quail! We had a covey of quail (or a bevy - depending on your taste in collective nouns) come bustling through. Not sure what they were looking for but they sure scrambled around a bit as they looked. I crept into the house to show the kids (that's my blinds up there if you're wondering), then back out for the photo op.

Apparently they're a little bashful. They probably heard me thinking of roast squab at one point. Hey, I've heard the story about quail coming down in the desert! And for sure, the raccoons would find the little ones only a few mouthfuls. I'm sure the quail had to be aware of that too. They scuttled off across our roof before too long.

But they missed one. They might not be too bright but I'll have to look that up. This little guy (below) stayed behind and then squalled at the top of his little bird lungs for a good twenty minutes - "MO-O-O-OM? DA-A-A-AD? AN-Y-BO-DY??!!" I heard a second quail hollering eventually so (presumably) someone came and took him back to the bevy before the cats (or the coons) could track him down.

So now I'm wondering if deer are going to be next. Or maybe coyotes. And mostly I'm praying that the snakes and skunks don't get the brochure that seems to be wandering through the animal kingdom featuring our yard.

Silent vocals?

I've just discovered that the sound is off - kaput - on my computer. I'm guessing that something messed up after the big lightning storm we had a couple nights ago but will have to wait for SG to be sure. We did shut everything down but things on my computer don't always start up in the right order if your eyes aren't crossed, you aren't wearing red and you didn't sacrifice a licorice fish by moonlight the night before.

Until I buy some licorice fish, I hope the sound works on yours 'cause this is amazing. Costumes are kind of freaky, some of the shadows are extremely unfortunate and one of the singers distinctly reminds me of PeeWee Herman but they sound great anyways. So turn it up and enjoy.

And I hope I've got the right version here. CAUSE I CAN'T LISTEN TO IT TO DOUBLE-CHECK, CAN I? There's a couple with really scratchy sound quality so if I posted the wrong one, I apologize and I'll have to fix it later.

I didn't realize how many noises from my computer I depend on ...



'K - now watch it again with funny captions (really, you want to do it in this order) ...

Manly men

SG was going into a bank the other day and stopped to hold the door for a mom and her three children (that's the kind of guy he is. He opens my door for me too.) The mom walked through with the kids following behind (there's something about being a mom that often makes me think of ducks) and as her little boy - about 3 years old or so - walked through, he stopped right in front of my husband and looked up at him.

"You look like ... "

Now let me stop there. As I was hearing this story, my thoughts jumped ahead to a lot of things that could finish this sentence. SG, as I've mentioned, is TD&H with dark hair, and a goatee that is starting to show some silver (so sweet of him to keep up with the grey taking charge on my head). He also wears dark wrap-around sunglasses that work very well for cycling but completely block his eyes and the immediate area around them. He's just over the six foot mark (he says it's the shoes) and with the sunglasses hiding the laugh lines and the goatee camouflaging the smile, he can look a trifle stern. Now that I think about it, put him in black leather chaps and a vest and he could convincingly be a biker. Although his road bike might lack the conviction of a Harley.

So, anyways, I was filling in the blank of what this little boy might have said while staring up at my husband. I didn't even come close though.

"You look like a real jonkleman."

(Not sure? He meant "gentleman.")

________________

On an unrelated note (and day, and event) - we were watching a Tae Kwon Do class that was taking place in a local park a couple weeks ago. The class was a group of teens and adults and they were doing some sparring without the benefit of boundaries for the matches. One young man had a very impressive display of spinning kicks that he kept trying to use on his opponent. The problem was he wasn't anywhere near his opponent.

The coach kept trying to urge him in closer but still he spun around and away from his sparring partner.

Finally, his dad on the sidelines couldn't take it any more.

"Hit somebody, you ballerina!"


Yep, manly men.

The little widow woman...

I found another black widow in my garden the other day. Actually, it's the second one this week. They seem to be reaching magnificent proportions in my yard this year. And I generally don't worry to much about bugs and spiders and that sort of thing, and leave them to eat each other with zestful enthusiasm.

All God's creatures, right?

But this was one of those dilemmas - she was guarding, not one, but two egg sacs. And as fascinating as it would be to see them hatch, it ultimately became a choice of my kids over hers. I don't need more black widows in my yard.

So in memorium -

Toto-ally cool!

Have you seen this? This choir makes a storm! Now I'm just trying to figure out if it can be done on wooden risers...

Turn up the sound and enjoy!

(It seems to be doing a weird formatting things but try it anyways...)