I found a head in my fridge

Yesterday I was seized with one of those rare (very rare) urges to clean out my fridge. I don't like to do it but sometimes a trail or a whiff or another alarming sign means its time to get out the protective gear and go in. And I really didn't think that yesterday could be so bad. When the inlaws came, we had obviously done a purge and that was only a few weeks ago, right?

So in I went.

I was cruising along until I reached (cue suspense soundtrack sequence and squeaking door audio) the vegetable drawer. You know - the climate controled area that by some weird fridge science is specifically adapted to pamper your peppers, cushion your cukes and keep your salad savory.

And in my defense, there was no funky odor, no trail of slime, no indication that something wasn't right. So I think my normally-reserved-for-suspected-snakes squeal was understandable when my hand touched something firm but slightly yielding...with black hair...about the size of a human head.

EEEEEEEKK!!!!

As I began to breath again - and to notice the bruise on my elbow from where I'd whacked it against the island when I jumped back - I realized that it was (or at least it used to be) a head of cauliflower. A moldy, black, didn't-know-it-could-ever-do-that cauliflower.

I don't mind cauliflower. In fact, I actually enjoy cauliflower. Add to that the undeniable health benefits of cauliflower and I get a little self-righteous glow every time I eat it. And my sister-in-law makes a fantastic salad that used chopped cauliflower, broccoli, cheese, bacon bits and ranch dressing. (It also makes a really great soup when she gets a little happy with the food processor.)

That must be what prompted me to buy the cauliflower in the first place. No one else in my house will eat it so I don't usually bother. I don't even remember buying this one. Do you suppose it was waiting in there to ambush my mother-in-law? Or to jump out and scare the oxidants out of my children? AAAAAH! MOM!! ZOMBIE VEGETABLES!

So I'm thinking - if you really want to scare kids tomorrow night (I'll be at a football game but you feel free to go ahead) forget the ghoul-faced pumpkins, keep the skeletons in the closet and cut back on the candy eyeballs.

You'll have better luck with the cauliflower.